but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
A+ Viking dick
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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