the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
