I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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