just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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