uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
