So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
