so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
