I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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