I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
