I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
