you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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