i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
