Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
