But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
