I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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