Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
