apparently the secret to your success is patron
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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