So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize