remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
