I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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