I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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