your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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