Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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