so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
