apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
