I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize