I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
