My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize