did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
