She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
