apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
