I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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