He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
