Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
