This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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