is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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