Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize