Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
