I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
