DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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