Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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