3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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