Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
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