do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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