u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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