just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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