OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
