Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
