You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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