i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My pussy is not your playground.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
