Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
