Duck Duck Cougar?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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