Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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