Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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