in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
