So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
