So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You took a bar mat shot.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
