just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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