Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
