her vagine was all disorganized.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
