worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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