fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
