areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
