I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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