So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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