Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
