He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
