I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
