I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
