i can't believe i had my finger in that
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
